Everyone has “irrational” dislikes. I googled the phrase yesterday, while thinking about this blog post. There are a lot of forums that have a thread on irrational dislikes. There’s a lot that are ‘common’ irrational dislikes – where you (that’s the royal you, not you, the person reading this) dislike a particular actor or actress; a particular person on the television, that kind of thing.
The dislike of middle lane hoggers is very common. There’s nothing irrational about that. That’s totally rational. The middle lane is for overtaking, not daydreaming. Move the hell over and stop being an idiot. You (royal you) clearly are not paying sufficient attention to the road ahead. You (royal you) are essentially driving without due care and attention. Start paying attention and stop pretending that you (royal you) have a ‘right’ to be there. You (royal you) don’t. [ok, the royal you thing is annoying me – I’m going to stop it, because its clear what I mean!]. The left hand lane is empty; kindly move over to where you belong. Right hand lane (or ‘fast’ lane) hoggers. You’re just as bad. You there; in your powerful, fast car. I don’t care that you’re going a hell of a lot faster than anyone else. You’re also an idiot who does not use the motorway properly. It is people like you who cause traffic jams. You and your middle lane friends. Right lane hoggers on dual carriageways induce the same feelings in me. Oh, you’re turning right in 2 miles, and that’s why you’re there?! WHY?!
See – I have a ‘common’ irrational dislike. But I do have some more unusual ones. At least, I like to think they are more unusual.
Windscreen wipers – this probably is very irrational, but I really, really, really dislike windscreen wipers left across a windscreen when the car is parked. Even if it isn’t my own car. I cannot look at the car. It makes me shudder. I do not know why, but nnngggggg is the only word to describe how it makes me feel.
Saying ‘weary’ when you mean ‘wary’ – sorry, it proper grinds my gears. Nnnnngggggg.
Nissan Micras – this one I believe is totally rational. I am yet to encounter one that does not conform to stereotype (apart from Sabatti’s (that’s a friend of mine) apparently). Slow. Bad driving. Lack of road awareness. Lack of awareness generally. I swear there is an incompetency driving test that comes hand in hand with owning one. I want bull bars on my car so I can push all Micras off the road. Most Nissans bring out the nnnnngggggg in me. Damn ugly cars. Nissan – cars for people who do not like driving.
Overuse of the word ‘literally’ – just bloody stop it. It was not literally whatever you are saying. Pleb. Nnnnnggggg.
Switches left on – when there is nothing plugged in. Why?! Why do I dislike this so much? I was watching episodes of The Office (the original, British version) and behind David Brent were switched on switches. Nothing plugged in. I couldn’t even look at the television screen. And I just spotted two on ‘Come Dine With Me’…. I will be found switching them off, at home; at work; in public. Nnnnngggggg.
Richard Briers’ teeth – but only in ‘Ever Decreasing Circles’. I like him in other stuff. I actually like him, as an actor. His teeth were fine in ‘The Good Life’ (actually love that programme). No problem with Richard’s teeth in ‘Monarch of the Glen’. But ‘Ever Decreasing Circles’? They were just too……….teethy. Nnnnnngggg.
I think I have issues……